January Schmanuary

It is the bleak midwinter. It is.

The end of January is always dark and cold. In Georgia, growing up, it meant our chance at snow. In Wheaton, our chance of frostbite.

Bleak.

But today has been anything but bleak, and it's not just the weather.


Worship with our church this morning was wonder-ful. The musical worship and the liturgy and the sermon flowed together to form an environment where active heart-worship felt so natural and right. I remember just thinking "I'm so glad to be here. I'm so glad to be here."


I have been appreciating my family today, too, with their bright faces and patience (or not) and silliness. I have a powerful sense that these are golden days, days that I want to both clutch and and hold loosely; both participate in and observe; both record and not step out of in order to do so.

Nutmeg is thinking about walking, and is starting to stand. Today she started to learn how to blow kisses.

Wombles took garden shears around the yard and surprised me with an artistically and texturally interesting bouquet. (He also told me he loves me more than J does. Or than I love him. We measured out our arms to see whose "this much" was the biggest.)

Bud's other top front tooth is getting looser and looser. I can't wait to see his grin when it falls out. At church this morning, he found two college students who dined with us last week, plopped down between them, and read them the last chapter of Ruth.

Pixie is still pursuing three instruments--recorder, violin and piano--and has also begun exploring photography. We both have new cameras, and spent some of the afternoon snuggled on a chaise in the sun reading her digital photography book. We're excited about learning together!

I am, in the small minutes, feeling a bit overextended. A bit worn, perhaps. Every time I think of what I'm doing, though, I am glad for all of the opportunities I have. And yet it was a gift today to feel excited about the things I'm doing--excited about the two young women who may come and have lunch separate days each week, excited to educate our kids at home in addition to the things they learn elsewhere, excited that our neighborhood women's Bible study has started up again. Excited for J's opportunities at work, for the good feedback he's getting, that he's flourishing. Excited that our church is growing--not just in size, but in other ways too. Excited! Purposeful. Strong.



And often quite tired.

And so, in light of the often-tired, I am extra grateful that today feels like the blessing it is. No amount of willpower or self-determination can make me this joyful, this content.




And I am joyful and content. And for that, again and in turn, I give thanks.

Happy Sunday!

PS This afternoon, the boys in the family had a water fight while Pixie and I read her photography book. The photos are not from today--they're from New Year's Day--but I thought I'd share the similar glee.

PSA: Christmas Sunset

On the ninth day of Christmas, we all ran out to look at the sky.


It just kept getting better.



My favorite quote from the night:

J: "Isn't God an artist?"
Pixie: "Of course. What else would He be?"

Light reflecting on faces I love...

...And on home I love.

Another Merry Christmas from the Master of Artists. May you see His work all around and in you, too.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle?

This Christmas was a reduce/reuse/recycle one for us...in one small area, at least.

Not the wrapping paper one, I'm afraid. I just love the colors together under the tree.

No, I'm talking about actual gifts.

Now, this was Nutmeg's first Christmas. And I really do looove shopping for babies...baby paraphernalia, games, sweet little shoes, toys. It's a great big mash-up of delights: the delight of anticipating glee on a baby face, or finding just-the-right thing for an age/stage, or enjoying a nostalgic love for toys or books that I've shared with my children (or enjoyed myself).

So I was excited to have the excuse of the specialness of a first Christmas to go a little bonkers. Plus there was her birthday to think of, just two days after. A baby-treat extravaganza!

As I thought of ways to please her, though, I kept feeling that we already had something "like that." In fact, I seemed to remember packing up some 12-month-old appropriate baby toys after Wombles outgrew them (yes, I was hoping for a Nutmeg). And so J did a little reconnaissance mission to the garage, and ...

and...



Seriously? Yes, seriously. A baby jackpot. Even though I really wanted to do some baby Christmas shopping, there was no way I could square it with my conscience.

Fortunately, the kids agreed with me. The next day, instead of planning our outing to get their gifts to Nutmeg, I told them about the box from the garage. Pixie exclaimed, "Let's give them to Nutmeg for CHRISTMAS!!"

So I got out the box and set out the toys like a display; and they each went "shopping" from the options.


They couldn't wait.

Of course, all of these toys were theirs. There were many exclamations of fond remembrances, but never a "but this is mine." It was such a fun process to watch.

They all played with the toys for a while, and then we packed them up to be wrapped and given on their "days."

Now the toys are strewn all over the house (or tucked into her birthday toy box...thanks, Nona and DD).

I think it went well. I think it was the right thing to do. Nutmeg is having a blast with the toys. So it's easier to feel good about it on the other side of Christmas. But in the weeks leading up to it, there were times when I felt guilty...like I was being cheap (which I sometimes am, but in this particular instance wasn't the case.)

Like I was trying to slip one past her since she wasn't old enough to know better.

Like how could I let other people give her presents when I wasn't even buying toys for her myself.

I think I was unloading the dishwasher when I realized that those feelings of guilt were clear evidence that on some deep level I had bought the cultural mandate that Christmas is about spending money on things. Not just giving them...spending money.

On new things.

Cognitively I would repudiate that...but practically I was believing it.

Ouch. And Yuck.

But as least I could see what I was up against--not only what other people would think of me, but also how I actually thought of what we were doing and of how we celebrate. Which has helped me process it and, I hope, will help me to grow in a more Christian and less consumerist direction.

Of course, it also helped a ton when I told my Mimi what we were doing, that she told me she thought it was a great idea. It's nice to not be alone, isn't it?

Nine Ladies Dancing!

We are still celebrating Christmas.

The tree is up. Christmas music is playing. The stockings are even re-hung.

I realize that we're a little...umm...outside of the cultural mainstream on this one. But although there are moments when I'd like to have the tree down and everything put away, I do love how we are celebrating Christmas.

It's a season, not a day.

This would be a harder sell if we'd started around Thanksgiving, but we held off through most of Advent and didn't start the Christmas music until Dec. 18th, when we put up the tree.

This year we are taking a new approach to celebrating the twelve days of Christmas; instead of doing more, we are going more slowly.

On the first day of Christmas (a partridge in a pear tree), we did stockings and the kids opened our presents to them. And a few more from people far away. But at no time did we say, "Put that down. Stop playing with that for a minute, so you can open this one." So we didn't get to all of the gifts sent from far away. We will before Christmas is done.

Two Turtle Doves
On the 26th, we don't open gifts but let the kids shop for them from the World Vision catalogs, which have been floating around our house for months. Bud had gone through and circled with a sharpie things he wanted to give. They talked over and agreed on how to spend their budgets. It went pretty quickly this year. Last year, their giving revolved around animals and agriculture. this year they chose a constellation of things to help girls and women, as well as a couple of health-related items.

Three French Hens
Nutmeg's birthday falls on this day, so for the first time I was planning a birthday "party." More on that later, but let's just say I'm glad the first time I was doing this she was only one and is unlikely to remember.

Another way we've chosen to slow down is to give each of the children one of the days of Christmas to give their gifts. So Nutmeg gave her Christmas presents away on her birthday--we like the Hobbitish nature of that, but in the future will probably bump it back a day.

Giving each of the children a day to be their own for giving has turned out to be one of my favorite parts of Christmas. We definitely plan to do it again next year. For one day, they each got to be the one blessing everyone else. The smiles were at least as big on those days as when they opened their own presents. It is such a gift to be in a position to give; I'd like to encourage them to think from that perspective (I'd like to grow in thinking that way, myself).


Four Calling Birds was Wombles' day this year.



Five Golden Rings was Bud's.



Six Geese a-Laying was Pixie's.



Seven Swans a-Swimming is, of course, New Year's Eve; we gave the children a movie and then all watched it together, having pizza and staying up late(r). I would love to make this a family tradition.

For the remaining days, we are giving them either things they need or games they can play together, or they are opening more gifts sent from far off. On Twelfth Night we'll have some kind of celebration before the kids set out their shoes for the Three Kings.

What are some of your Christmas traditions? How do you approach gift-giving? Our traditions are evolving, and I'm always on the lookout for new ideas.

Again: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Happy Birthday, Mimi!

As I've mentioned before, my Mimi is awesome.

I love snuggling under her quilts.

I love drinking her sweet tea.

I love crashing driving her golf cart during kumquat wars.


I love, love, love listening to her tell stories.

I love beating her at cards! (Hahaha...haha...ha...please don't hurt me, Mimi)

I love my Mimi.

And while Nutmeg didn't end up sharing Mimi's birthday, they split the difference with Christmas--Mimi two days before and Nutmeg two days after. Instead of sharing a birthday, they share a name.


Love you, Mimi!

Happy Anniversary!

Every year, our anniversary comes in the midst of Christmas preparations, Advent celebrations, and End-of-Semester stress and chaos.

Over the past thirteen years, our anniversary has been celebrated on both coasts and in between.

Advent has grown richer and more meaningful.

And the end-of-semester stress has shifted from that of student to that of teacher and professor.

Occasionally we talk about celebrating on the anniversary of the day we were engaged, which is in August.

No matter how busy it feels, no matter who may need to travel, J always insists that we celebrate. On the day. At least a little bit.

And he is right. It is something to celebrate. I am happier to be married to J now than I was as a newlywed--and I was an overboard romantic then. God has been so good to us, and we are in particularly sweet season right now. I love him so, AND I have the warm fuzzies and deep affection. And, oh, we laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

Sometime this fall, out of the blue, he sent me a poem. In a year of romance and sweet messages and great dates, the poem still stands out (maybe because I immediately printed it and put it on the refrigerator, where it remains).

I never knew the title before tonight, though.

To a Long Loved Love

Because you're not who I would have you be
I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.
Seeking mirage where desert blooms, I mar
Your you. Aaah, I would like to see
Past all delusion to reality:
Then I would see God's image in your face,
His hands in yours, and in your eyes his grace.
Because I'm not who I would have me be,
I idolize Two who are not any place,
Not you, not me, and so we never touch.
Reality would burn. I do not like it much.
And yet in you, in me, I find a trace
Of love which struggles to break through
The hidden lovely truth of me, of you.


Madeleine L'Engle

One of my favorite love letters from the man I adore.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart! I'm thrilled to be on this road--and in the midst of this construction project--with you.

PSA: Santa Claus

It may not be Christmas quite yet, but...


We're excited and getting ready!