Some Days Are Like That...

...even in Santa Barbara.

The kite day didn't look like it was going to be one of them. After our great start flying kites, you would think that the rest of the day would be filled with the warm fuzzies--a carryover from the investment in Fun and Spontaneity and Seizing the Moment with the children.

Not so.

Instead, I ended up frazzled.

Trying to make up the time we'd spent playing, trying to still get all of our school tasks and activities covered--classically trying to have my cake and eat it, too. If we could afford to take an hour out of our school day, we wouldn't start at 7:30am.

Trying to get the house cleaned up for the small group that's not so small that would be arriving at 5:30. I leave to teach Spanish after lunch and return at 5:10.

And trying, to be honest, to also clean up well enough that the new babysitter who comes during Spanish won't secretly judge me.

I am so lame. None of those things would have been a sufficient trade for the fun and adventure we had on our kite morning. But in trying to have both, I snapped. Barked. Chided, guilt-tripped, stormed, and even cried a little.

It wasn't pretty.

Between Meltdown Mama and the kites, I had a little window of time with Wombles. Pixie and Bud were up the street at their Chinese lesson and I went outside to see what the Wombler was up to.


He was playing down on the terrace with a bunch of superheroes. I lay down and watched and listened to the active, lovely, imaginative four-year-old on the step below me. And marveled at how splendid he is. For a long while, he had no idea I was there.

The sun was so warm on my back.



I should have taken the time then to reflect on how much of what we see is a matter of perspective. I'm not talking about truth--truth is Truth. But we do each filter and process what we see: either letting the truth shine through and enlighten or bending it to confirm what we already think...or believe.

I should not have seen my children as obstacles to my mission on Wednesday; should not have seen them as un-doers or lollygaggers or impediments to what I wanted to happen (although in a sense they were those things). But that's only the case because what I wanted and demanded was wrong-sighted.


So many of my obstacles are thrown into my path by no one but me. Chasing what I want, skewing reality to confirm that what I want is the Good and that anything that thwarts me is evil.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. James 4:1-2



Praying to see Truth and pursue it. Trying to learn to speak it, as well,
H